First, take a look at the picture. Then, take a few deep breaths. After that, scroll down for details:
To sum up: The man on the left is Ivan Wilzig, a financier-turned-TMZ target who goes by the name “Sir Ivan” and is famous in some circles for:
- Being a trailblazing “millionaire hipster,” called such by The New York Times nearly nine years ago.
- Remixing anthems of the pacifist movement in ’60s and ’70s into dance-club background tracks.
- Appearing on various reality shows, including one about wannabe superheroes.
- Owning a castle.
The woman on the right is Dina Lohan, who is the mother of tabloid-magnet Lindsay Lohan and is famous in some circles for:
- Being Lindsay Lohan’s mother.
- See above.
Wilzig decided to throw a nautical-themed party at his New York castle over Labor Day weekend. The New York Daily News reported the estate was dressed up “like a three-story gray battleship.” He invited 500 guests who donated at least $200 to his Peaceman Foundation, which, per the Sir, was “established to battle hatred and violence” and donates to many military-related charities.
And what better way to celebrate such an organization than by playing nautical dress-up and wearing a rack of medals — including one sported by nearly every beneficiary of some of the charities mentioned above — over the right breast pocket?
Sir Ivan’s heart may very well be in the right place. His Purple Heart isn’t. But hey, at least it’s not blocked by Dina Lohan’s feather boa.