The Naval and Coast Guard academies — as you might expect — aren’t the first colleges to consider when you’re looking for a party school.
But alongside ranking high as a “stone-cold sober” school in this year’s Princeton Review rankings, the two academies got high marks for accessible professors, low marijuana use and “running like butter” (meaning administration works well).
On the not-so-good end: The Naval Academy ranked seventh for “least happy students” of the 376 U.S. schools included in this year’s rankings and 14th for “dorms like dungeons.” The Coast Guard Academy placed similarly, ranking fourth for “least happy students” and fifth for “dorms like dungeons.”
Here’s a full list of categories in which each of the four service academies ranked highly:
Naval Academy
Most Accessible Professors — #4
Don’t Inhale (marijuana usage reported low) — #6
Future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution — #6
Stone-Cold Sober Schools — #6
Least Happy Students — #7
Dorms Like Dungeons (dorms get low ratings) — #14
Everyone Plays Intramural Sports — #16
School Runs Like Butter (administration gets high marks) — #20
Coast Guard Academy
Don’t Inhale (marijuana usage reported low) — #2
Most Accessible Professors — #2
College Town Not So Great — #3
Least Happy Students — #4
Stone-Cold Sober Schools — #4
Dorms Like Dungeons (dorms get low ratings) — #5
Future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution — #8
School Runs Like Butter (administration gets high marks) — #8
This is a Library? (college library gets low marks) — #16
Got Milk? (beer usage reported low) — #17
Scotch & Soda, Hold the Scotch (hard liquor usage reported low) — #17
Most Conservative Students (lean right politically) — #18
West Point
Best Classroom Experience — #1
Most Accessible Professors — #1
Best Athletic Facilities — #3
Best Health Services — #3
Everyone Plays Intramural Sports — #4
Stone-Cold Sober Schools — #5
Most Politically Active Students — #6
Don’t Inhale (marijuana usage reported low) — #7
Students Study the Most (report highest # of study hrs per day) — #7
Best College Library — #8
Future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution — #9
Most Conservative Students (lean right politically) — #13
College Town Not So Great — #14
Most Religious Students — #15
Class Discussions Encouraged — #16
School Runs Like Butter (administration gets high marks) — #18
Scotch & Soda, Hold the Scotch (hard liquor usage reported low) — #19
Air Force Academy
Don’t Inhale (marijuana usage reported low) — #1
Got Milk? (beer usage reported low) — #4
Most Accessible Professors — #5
Most Conservative Students (lean right politically) — #5
Scotch & Soda, Hold the Scotch (hard liquor usage reported low) — #5
Future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution — #7
School Runs Like Butter (administration gets high marks) — #9
Stone-Cold Sober Schools — #13
Least Happy Students — #15
Most Politically Active Students — #19
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Merchant Marine Academy
Least Accessible Professors – #1
Professors Get Low Marks – #2
Dorms Like Dungeons – #2
Is It Food – #3
Least Happy Students – #3
Most Conservative Students – #7
Don’t Inhale – #9
Long Lines and Red Tape – #10
Stone-Cold Sober Schools – #12
This Is A Library? – #13
Future Rotarians and Daughters of the American Revolution – #13
Way to forget the Merchant Marine Academy, which has the worst ratings of all of them.