First, read Scoop Deck’s take on the recent cereal faker scandal that has rocketed its way around the Internet, to the point of drawing an official response from the Navy about Cap’n Crunch’s personnel records, or lack thereof. A Navy spokesman says NCIS will soon get involved in what will certainly be labeled “Crunch-gate,” and since the real NCIS couldn’t possibly be bothered, it’s a natural assumption that he means these guys. But really, if you want a TV show to address this mess, it’s best left to the experts. Stephen Colbert weighs in below, but here are some key…
Browsing: Cap’n Crunch
Cap’n Crunch is a fraud?! It turns out that the friendly Naval officer who has saluted kids eating breakfast for generations is not actually a captain, a Buzzfeed article reports. Navy captains have four stripes on their sleeves, but Faker Crunch only has three, making him a commander. If we’re really going to start picking apart his uniform, his cover is way too low on his head. It should be two fingers above the nose, not pulled down below his eyes (how did he even get it behind his eyeballs?). Also, that mustache is definitely out of regs–and I’m assuming…